Live Deliberately.

"If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours." - Henry David Thoreau

The Power of Ambition

I have a reputation for being a busy individual. For a while, some of my friends and family called me "Hurricane Hayley". I, for whatever reason, have always tried to be what some refer to as an over-achiever. I have never been content with doing something half way. I either have to give it my all or not do it at all. Go big or go home. I don't know if it is because of my ambitious family members or my fear of being average, but for as long as I can remember, I have wanted to do great things.

Now I'm not an expert at anything. I dabble. I'm a Jane of all trades. I have devoted pockets of time to various hobbies and talents such as softball, basketball, running, guitar, singing/songwriting, poetry, and now taekwondo. I like to experience different things. I have traveled to Europe and the Caribbean. I served a full time mission for my church. I have a BA in Education and an MA in English. I am married with two dogs and one perfect daughter. I am an aspiring author who is currently working on two novels, workshopping two more, and blogging in my spare time.

I'm not perfect with my ambition. My laziness is my greatest limitation. I spend way too much time watching Netflix or surfing the internet. My self doubt keeps me from facing challenges head on. That is why I have a sewing machine I've never used, and running shoes collecting dust. But overall, I try to use my time wisely. I believe if you are not moving forward ,then you are moving backward. I want to look back on my life at the end of it all and know that I seized all of my days.

But at 27, I'm having a mid-life crisis, or I suppose, a "one-third life crisis". I feel the ever pressing need to be DOING, GROWING, LEARNING, but for the first time in 21 years I am not in school and it is driving me crazy. I feel antsy. Anxious. I don't have a clear direction for my future. I have accomplished so much of my "bucket list" that I feel a little like a traveler without a map, wandering in circles, hoping I find something worthwhile. As a result of this anxiety, I have begun to consider that maybe, just maybe, this is as good a time as any to slow down, to calm the storm, and to learn how to simplify my life.

The Peace in Simplicity

Stress. If you're like me, you get stressed out just by hearing the word stress. Just by reading that last sentence, you are already more stressed out than you were a minute ago. We live in a world that is so demanding. The economy stinks. We have to bust our butt just to afford a roof over our head. Working over 40 hours a week is the new norm. Thanks to the invention of the smartphone, multitasking is our way of life. Now our idea of relaxing is responding to e-mails and text messages and Facebook comments while trying to catch up with our favorite show on Netflix. We aren't content with simply spending time together, talking face to face, sharing a meal without checking our phones. We have let the need for instant information and constant entertainment erode away our ability to sit back, observe, and enjoy.

Just a couple weeks ago, I had the opportunity to chaperone a youth church camp. There was no cell phone service at our cabin - in fact we had to drive a mile or so down the road just to get any reception. The isolation was initially jarring, but what we noticed (youth and leaders alike) at the end of our four-day trip was that the lack of technology led to an abundance of peace. We genuinely enjoyed one another's company. We were never bored. We could relax and reflect. We felt more in tune with God and with ourselves than we had in a long time. When we stopped focusing on our bank accounts and status updates, when we took a second to get away from it all, the stress went away. It was like a massive weight was lifted off my shoulders for just a few days. I learned that when we remove the distraction of the daily grind we are left with a much clearer path to contentment. But I couldn't stay in a cabin forever. I had to come back to the city, back to the grind, back to the budget and the laundry and the dishes, back to the real world. So what's the trick? How can I be ambitious and goal oriented without all of the added stress?

Finding a Balance

Some of the best things I've ever learned, I learned from television. When I was in junior high, this fantastically beautiful show called "Ed" aired on NBC. It follows a simple plot about a lawyer who buys a bowling alley. Hi-jinks ensue. But one of my favorite episodes of this show (the one I've included above) examined the conflict between ambition and simplicity. How do you live a meaningful life but not get so busy that your life passes you by? Finding the balance between pursuing your dreams and stopping to smell the roses is no easy task. But here are some of what I consider to be the keys to living deliberately:

1. Always have a goal. Never settle. Never be satisfied. Always be working toward something. Make goals that stretch you, challenge you, but that are realistic and within your control. For example, a good goal is "Pay off debt in X amount of time." A bad goal is "Get a $20,000 raise." The first is in your control. The second is not.

2. Limit the amount of goals you are working on at any one time. There is no shame in being focused on one thing at a time. I felt, for years, that I had to fill up every minute of every day with something new. I never mastered anything. Take your time. Don't overwork yourself.

3. Get away. Use your vacation days. Get out of town - by yourself or with a loved one. There is more to life than promotions and paychecks.

4. Focus on faith. Whether that faith is in God, nature, the universe, or yourself and your own spirit. Take time to meditate and get in tune with a power greater than the shallow society in which we live.

5. Celebrate each victory. When we become too focused on the next big thing, we forget to live in the moment. Don't spend four years working toward a Bachelor's degree only to push your diploma aside in pursuit of your Doctorate. Give credit where credit is due. Brag a little. Take the time to really celebrate each accomplishment. This will give you the determination to keep going and the self-awareness and security to stay put just long enough to enjoy the moment.

I'm handling my "one-third life crisis" one day at a time, hoping that I too will be able to find a balance between chasing my dreams, and enjoying the dream life I am already living.

Listen to an audio recording of this blog here. 

Video courtesy of YouTube.